There are two ways we can look at how God loves us
Uncondtional love which is the correct way or Performance love wich is the wrong way.
Performance love tells me these things:
Jesus loves me but there are conditions. His love is based on my performance
I have to earn his love by what I do. Always trying to please Him.
When I please Him I feel loved
When I don't please Him I feel rejected.
We have to understand that God loves us always in our good times as well as our bad times. When we have performance love we only feel Gods love when we are performing well and it leaves no room for failure. When we fail we feel rejected by God and He doesn't love me. This has nothing to do with what God is . It has everything to do with your feelings. God is not asking us to feel guilty. He is asking us to be thankful. Jesus paid the price when He died on the cross for everyone . We don't need to add our guilt to it. When we fail, we need to ask forgiveness and stop doing what ever it was. You can't keep on living your life in guilt.
If God who is all loving does not always love, accept and value me then how can I believe I am valuable and loveable ?
With performance love I don't believe I am a loveable valueable person
I don't trust others who say they love me
It is difficult to accept love from others
There is a feeling of rejection if I let them in and of course they do.
We then can start using the worlds standard to prove to others we are worthy. God loves us all the same. There are no conditions.
With performance love we need strokes and feedback from people to prove to ourself we are loveable. We become dependent on constant affirmation from others just to get through the day. The problem is only God can fill this void we are looking for. We get ourself worth from God and He never fails us.
Performance love makes me put impossible demands on people who do love me. We frustrate them. We can't be satisfied with what they give us. We don't let them be honest or confront us. If we did we would have to change and believe we can't do anything to earn Gods love. We become consumed with ourselves but we are blind to it. Our actions become more about who loves me and who I think does not. We try to please people by doing what we think is good to those we think deserve it. This gives us the feeling of " I earned it". There is nothing we can do to earn Gods love. He gives to all unconditionally by his mercy and grace. We need to stop worring how to avoid rejection and learn how to build loving, lasting relationships.
The only way to recover from addictive behavior is to know who we are in Christ. We must believe we have worth and value because Jesus died for us. We need to be rooted and grounded in Gods love. This is truly all you need. Once you accept this you can move forward knowing God has your back. People will always fail you but God never does. He loves you and He knows what is best for you. You can stop the people pleading merry go round. Hit the stop button and get off. Start trusting God today for the rest of your journey .
May God Bless and keep you as you seek to honor Him.